What will you tell your children about the Boston Marathon bombings?
I take my work as a teacher very seriously especially in the aftermath of tragedies like the Boston Marathon bombings. I answer pretty much every question students throw at me, like, “Why did Hitler hate Jews so much?”, “Is The Diary of Anne Frank a good book? and “Why did the U.S. bomb Japan and not Germany in World War II?” I really feel that it is my responsibility, as an adult, to respond honestly and openly to their questions because they need guidance. It is my goal to draw them into a complex yet understandable discussion and show them how to use reason to unpack very difficult issues.
This weekend, my first student, an 18-year-old, wanted to discuss the Boston Bombings. She was feeling sad and defeated by the hateful act. Like many of us often do, she focused solely on the two suspects and their single act, which is exactly what the bombers and their ilk want. They want you to despair, feel defeated and hopeless about humanity. Which is why they targeted the marathon, the quintessential life-affirming event. The attack was the ultimate anti-social, anti-life, anti-hopeful act. They wanted to destroy what they did not have. I told her to mourn the dead and the injured and to think about what they will have to endure but to also focus on the fact, that the majority of the people at the marathon, EVERYONE except for the two suspects, did good things! That, “the vast majority stands against that darkness,” Patton Oswalt posted.
Our children and students, of all ages, need to feel positive about people, safe and proactive. I gave my student an exercise. I asked her how would she discuss the Boston Marathon Bombing and similar events with an 8-year-old? We brainstormed and came up with the following discussion points: possible causes (anti-social behaviour, alienation, outmoded notions of masculinity) and prevention (rejecting constrictive notions of manhood, more mental health resources, family intervention, coping skills, group discussions at her Church) because make no mistake there are other young men on the cusp of making a similar hateful statement on an international stage. Our young men are still bottling up rage and feel justified in harming other people in great numbers.
At the end of today’s session I told her she can call or email me if she needed to talk about the attack and I told her father about our discussion, about how we all have to be concerned about our young men and he said it was a good idea. Those of us who want to understand why a person commits such a heinous act is not out to “make excuses for it” as Prime Minister Harper suggests. We just want to stop the next attack and make our children feel safe and positive. We want them to reject and denounce this ultimate act of hate. So, turn off the 24-7 media coverage but don’t avoid your children’s questions. They need your calming and thoughtful presence more than ever.
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